Spousosexual/Englisch

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The English term spousosexual or spouseosexual ("spouse" & "-sexual") refers to someone who experiences sexual attraction only to his or her husband, wife or longtime companion. The term is particularly common in reference to individuals who are generally same-sex attracted, but show no interest in the opposite sex with the exception of one particular individual. It can therefore be seen as a particular case of bisexuality, similar to the term bi-curious.

The term presumably originated as a spontanous creation and was used as a joke. For example, one usage occurred in 2005 in an Internet forum discussion about metrosexuality, where this term was jokingly defined as "only sleep[ing] with meteorologist[s]"[1] Another occurrence dates from November 2008 in a blog commentary, where a man said he had sex only with his wife.[2] He made also the spontaneous creation spousophile in May 2009.[3]

Warren Throckmorton first used the term on 14 March 2008 in his blog in an article about heterosexuality among homosexually oriented men.[4] He was uncertain whether he had developed the term himself or whether he had heard it from an interview partner. His attention to this topic had developed after he had read "Are Self-identified Bisexuals Just Lying to Us-or to Themselves?" by Daryl J. Bem.[5] There, especially in the last paragraph, men who described themselves as being married to women, claimed a bisexual identity, although they were generally attracted only to men, because at the same time, they felt a genuine love for their wives and had satisfying sexual relations with her, although they were not sexually attracted to any other women. Such marriages are also called mixed-orientation marriages.

The term can also describe the situation of many ex-gays, about whom the psychologist Stanton L. Jones writes: "A typical hetero male finds himself attracted to a wide range of females. But among the successful people who reported conversion the typical response was I'm very happy with my sexual responses to my wife, but I don't experience much hetero attraction to other women. Also, when asked and pressed about whether they still find attraction to men, they will say: 'Yes, if I let my mind go in that direction.'"[6]

References

  1. yrwyddfa: Community > General Discussion / Chit Chat: I have to say that, VBForums, 19. August 2005 6:08
    "Meteorosexual means you only sleep with weather forecasters. Take your pick:
    http://www.bbc.co.uk/weather/bbcweather/todays_forecasters.shtml
    I guess I would have to fall in the spouseosexual classification."
  2. James aus England: I Had A Dream, Real Live Lesbian, 5. November 2008 23:27
    "I really really tried to think of a guy..but I couldn't. I guess I'm too old now. I'm a spouseosexual..I just like doing it with my wife."
  3. James: One woman man, themsmeprivatethoughts.blogspot.com, 31. May 2009
  4. Warren Throckmorton: Which is the real me?, wthrockmorton.com, 14. März 2008
  5. Daryl J. Bem, Cornell University: "Are Self-identified Bisexuals Just Lying to Us—or to Themselves?", Posted to Sexnet July 16, 2005
  6. Charles Lewis: Homosexuality: Trouble on the reorient express - Gay conversion still focus of controversy, National Post, 7. August 2009